Tuesday, May 26

Crown or Disease?

A good wife is like a crown for her husband,
but a disgraceful wife is like a disease in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4
A few definitions of a crown are: 1) any of various types of headgear worn by a monarch as a symbol of sovereignty, often made of precious metal and ornamented with valuable gems; 2) an ornamental wreath or circlet for the head, conferred by the ancients as a mark of victory, athletic or military distinction, etc; 3) the distinction that comes from a great achievement.

Based on that first definition, if I am a crown to my husband, I would be precious and valuable. I know I am that in the eyes of the Lord, and my husband shows me that he thinks of me this way as well. I don't think it has much to do with what I do; I feel that this is unearned merit on both counts. Based on the second and third definitions, though, I can be a crown by lifting my husband up, encouraging him. I can be the "good woman" behind him, helping him to do all he is called to do. By making a point to show my respect for him, both at home and publicly, I can increase the level of respect others have for him as well.

But if I treat him disrespectfully, if I don't honor and encourage him, I become like a disease in his bones that will affect every part of his life. I found this definition of disease: "a disordered or incorrectly functioning part or system of the body." In any marriage where the wife does not respect her husband and allow him to be the head of their household, that is a disordered or incorrectly functioning marriage. A disease.
I'm sad to say that I was a disease in my failed first marriage. It's one of the primary reasons that marriage failed: I was toxic. Though I am far from perfect, I now seek to be a crown that bestows honor upon my husband.