In Sunday school, we’ve been covering some of things we as parents do to provoke our kids to anger. (Ephesians 6:1-4) If our children’s hearts become hardened towards us, we will never be able to reach and disciple them as God wants us to do. The way kids develop their perception of what God is like is based on their relationship with their parents; I don’t know about you, but that’s a very humbling and sort of scary thought that makes me much more aware of how I’m parenting!
Here are some things we must AVOID:
- lack of marital harmony
(Gen. 2:24) ~ Husband and wife are intended to be one flesh; kids need to see this lived out in front of them.
maintaining a child-centered home; the marriage relationship must come before the child relationship. (Prov 29:15b) disciplining when angry (Eph 4:26-27) ~ Anger itself is not wrong, but often the way we deliver the message does cross over into sinful behavior. scolding (Eph 4:29). Say what is necessary to “build up” our children and offer them grace, not to tear them down with our words. being inconsistent with discipline (Ecc 8:11) not admitting when you are wrong, and not asking for forgiveness from your children (James 5:16) ~ Set a great example of what you want them to do; this is not a sign of weakness, but a show of humility. constantly finding fault (Prov 19:11) ~ Look for the good, and praise it! Overlook faults whenever possible, if it’s not an issue of respect or obedience. not listening to your child, or not taking his or her side of the story seriously (Prov 18:13). The Bible says it’s foolishness to give an answer before we listen. Show your child you value him or her by hearing what they have to say, as long as they say it with respect. not taking time to “just talk” (James 1:19). If we aren’t the primary relationship in our child’s lives, someone else will be. failing to keep your promises (Matt 5:37). ~ Show them you are trustworthy.chastening in front of others (Matt 18:15). We must remember that, as believers, our relationship with our kids is eternal; we will only be their parents here on this earth, but will rejoice with them for eternity in heaven. not allowing enough freedom (Luke 12:48b). As they are given greater responsibilities, they must be given more freedom. A great analogy someone in class shared is that kids are like a metal spring: if you suddenly release the spring, it will go flying off, and there’s no telling where it will land. However, if you let off of it very gradually, by small increments, it will be right there in that same spot when you take your hand off of it.unrealistic expectations (1 Cor 13:11a). They are not yet adults, so we must not expect them to think like adults. We should also take care never to compare one child to another, whether their sibling or another child we know. God created every one of us uniquely. practicing favoritism (Luke 15:25-30). In the case of the prodigal son, the father showed favoritism, but he also explained to the older son why he did so. We aren’t shown the reaction of that son, but I hope he understood after his father took time to explain. child training with methodologies inconsistent with God’s Word (Ephesians 6:4). Any training not consistent with the Bible will exasperate our children. reacting without understanding the heart (James 1:5). We must be careful not to wound our child’s spirit; we must pray for wisdom in parenting.
There is no list of one-size-fits-all parenting rules…
We must have a close, intimate relationship with the Lord; only then will we know how to handle each unique situation with our children.
