Getting Better

“When a man is getting better
he understands more and more
clearly the evil that is still left
in him. When a man is getting
worse he understands his
own badness less and less.”
~ C.S. Lewis

I’ve found this to be true in my own life. When I was sliding farther and farther away from God, it didn’t really seem to be a big deal. I rationalized everything I was doing, and it all sounded perfectly reasonable in my own mind. But once I finally came back to God, that all changed. During my time of brokenness, I knew that I’d been deluding myself, and I knew God had seen through every bit of my “logic.” Although I know I have been forgiven, I find that as I continue to mature in my walk with Christ, I come to new and greater understanding of just how bad I had been. The benefit of experiencing this Godly sorrow over my sins is that as I face the depths of the evil I have done, my gratitude to my Savior grows. I realize it was my sins that nailed Him to the cross; I understand more deeply His love for me and I have a deeper appreciation for the grace He has given me. But as I allow myself these realizations, I must be careful not to allow Satan to throw those sins back in my face, so I remind him (and myself) that those sins are in the past and God has forgiven me.
I am eternally grateful for Christ’s redeeming love.